Your laptop is shut down. You don’t check your inbox after work. You’re away from the office. And yet, you feel like you can’t fully enjoy your vacation – lounging by the pool on the outside, but inside, thinking about new tasks. You’re with your family and friends, but somehow you feel you should stay connected to work responsibilities – because if you don’t, you worry you’ll fall behind. Let me tell you why that is.
Here’s the truth – even when your laptop is closed and your out-of-office (ooo) reply is on, your nervous system might still be running in “work mode”. That’s because your brain and body have been conditioned – through repetition and reinforcement – to operate in a constant state of high alert. Less stress means something is wrong, according to your body. If you’ve spent months (or years) responding to every ping, solving problems instantly, and mentally juggling to-do lists, your neural pathways have adapted to keep you on guard.
Why Taking Time Off From Work Feels Wrong?
Your brain doesn’t automatically switch into “vacation mode” just because you’ve changed locations. In fact, neuroscience research shows that the sympathetic nervous system, the fight-or-flight mechanism, can remain active long after the external stressor is removed.
This is why you may feel anxious, restless, or guilty about unplugging. Your brain’s threat-detection system is still scanning for “urgent” problems to solve, even if they don’t exist at the moment.
One American survey showed that over 70% of workers refrained from taking vacations to avoid stress and anxiety. Although officially they were off, they still worked. From the outside, it sounds ridiculous – your paid time off, which you have a right to, should reduce stress and be something to look forward to. How can you think about postponing it instead of being excited about it?
The Neuroscience Behind the Problem
Neuroplasticity works both ways – the brain strengthens the connections you use most often. Years of rapid responses to work demands create well-worn neural circuits for vigilance, urgency, and problem-solving while the circuits for rest and play weaken.
The amygdala stays on high alert – chronic stress can make your brain’s emotional alarm system hypersensitive, triggering stress responses unnecessarily.
Dopamine and adrenaline become addictive – the chemical “high” of completing tasks and putting out fires can make stillness feel uncomfortable or even boring.
How to Retrain Your Brain and Body to Rest
The good news? Neuroplasticity also allows you to rewire for calm, with practice. You can teach your nervous system how to switch from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest mode. Telling yourself to stop thinking about work isn’t a magical formula; obviously, you need specific actions.
You tell yourself to stop thinking about work, but your brain doesn’t listen, because it’s never as simple as just deciding to switch off. You close the laptop, but your shoulders are still tense like you’re about to present something. You sit on the couch, and instead of sinking in, your body stays upright, alert, as if someone is about to call your name. You pick up your phone to scroll, but your mind drifts back to unfinished emails, small mistakes you might have made, the meeting you already started rehearsing for tomorrow. Even when you’re technically “done,” it feels like part of you is still in the office, carrying the noise, the deadlines, the pressure.
And it’s exhausting in a way that doesn’t show on the outside. You’re sitting with the people you love, but you realize you’ve only half-heard what they said. You’re laughing, but the sound feels delayed, like you’re still somewhere else. You take a bite of dinner, and it’s good food, but you barely taste it because your brain is chewing on something completely different. Even your sleep doesn’t feel like sleep — you close your eyes and wake up just as tired, because your body never truly let go.
This is what makes evenings feel heavier than they should, like the day is following you into the night, refusing to leave you alone. It makes life feel like one long workday with no clear edges, no real pause, no space to just be. And after a while, you start wondering if this is just how it is now, if rest is something other people get to have but you somehow don’t.
But here’s the thing — it doesn’t have to stay like this. Your brain is built to adapt. Your body knows how to release. And when it does, the change is almost startling. You walk out of the office and for the first time, you feel really good.
Powerfully Present: Let’s Disconnect From Work Together
Your inability to relax on vacation isn’t weakness – it’s neuroscience in action. By rewiring your brain through intentional rest practices, you can teach your nervous system that downtime is safe. Over time, you’ll not only enjoy vacations more—you’ll return recharged, creative, and ready to perform at your best.
If you want to…
- learn how to go on vacation without feeling guilty and have areal work-life balance in your life
- go back to work feeling your mental and physical health seem stronger than ever
- make checking emails and work-related apps less stressful and more neutral
- make you more productive, not burnout
- appreciating your PTO and accept the fact that there are things you can do upon your return, taking your time and focusing on self-care
you should check out the Powerfully Present program I prepared!
Why? And who am I, really?
I’m a neuroscience-based coach who has been through it all – working on vacation, leaving the office stressed and completely drained, dealing with post-vacation anxiety. I learned the hard way and decided never to return to that place in my life. Now, when I’m on vacations, I enjoy them to the fullest and use this time to re-charge my batteries, knowing that going back to work is simply part of the rhythm of life, not the end of the world.
Let’s get you to that same place!